SIMON HUGHES: Ultimately Australia is a nation still grappling with its place in the world, therefore trying too hard to define itself through sporting prowess
A bit of scratching of a cricket ball in a badly-attended Test match in Cape Town between South Africa and Australia became headline news on the BBC, made the front pages of newspapers all over the world, elicited a wave of hysteria still rolling through Australia and left a trail of wrecked careers and reputations.
Now that Hurricane Tamper has passed through, and the dust is settling, it is worth considering why this story got so big.
It is a tale of player-power getting out of control, of international sportsmen’s increasing isolation from the real world and ultimately about an upstart nation that takes itself too seriously.
The increasing income top sportsmen have accrued in the last decade, and the fawning acclaim lavished upon them, have increased their isolation from everyday life.
They know little of the hard yakka most people experience getting up for work at 6.30am - or getting breakfast down the kids - through a long, harassed, often poorly-paid day, before flopping into a chair to watch Gogglebox for half-an-hour and putting the bins out.
International sportsmen meanwhile are spoon-fed everything, transported everywhere and surrounded by sycophants. It generates a feeling of invincibility. They think they can pretty much get away with anything.
This mentality began to infect England’s one day team - a perceived drinking culture developed - culminating in the Stokes/Hales incident in Bristol.
(It is worth mentioning at this point, that there are exceptions. Walking to a restaurant the night before the Perth Test in December, I was hailed by a familiar voice: ‘Hey Yozzer!’ It was Joe Root, England captain, venturing out on his own to a local supermarket to buy pasta and vegetables to cook a meal for his family in their self-catering apartment. No sending out for pizzas, or dispatching a member of the security staff for Joe!)
Australia, meanwhile, have been conducting themselves appallingly on the field, with personal abuse liberally dished out from some quarters - remember David Warner originally encouraged his compatriots to conjure up ‘hatred’ of England before the Ashes (he later retracted that word).
They have manipulated TV coverage of the game, using the stump mics first to leak disreputable stories about opponents to undermine them and then, when it started to get them into trouble, demanding (in South Africa) that the stump mics be turned down.
When they weren’t they began deliberately mentioning sponsors names close to the stumps to pressurise the broadcasters into muting the mics. The attitude on the field was generally abrasive and often beyond what was acceptable.
And yet they then complained about a few comments thrown at them by South African spectators.
This hypocrisy has been endemic in Australia for some years. Their cricket team can give it out, but they can’t take it back. They strut about cockily, often brazenly, they have an inflated opinion of themselves. Self-deprecation is practically illegal. They lack humility (in complete contrast to their New Zealand neighbours who have it by the bucket load).
They are often vulgar and disrespectful and they are unpopular tourists. The Indians hate them. A torrent of discontent about Australian cricketers has built up around the world which has been savagely unleashed this week.
A people are a product of their society, of course, and Australia is a country of stark contradictions. They like their sporting heroes to be tough and play close to the edge yet they have created a ridiculous nanny state where, for example, crossing the road except at the lights is prohibited and you can’t have any part of your body - even your elbows - protruding from a vehicle.
During the Perth test several spectators were told they couldn’t bring umbrellas in despite rain being forecast because they were potentially ‘offensive weapons.’
Ultimately Australia is a nation still grappling with its place in the world, therefore trying too hard to define itself through sporting prowess. And when it all goes wrong there is monumental overreaction and vast outpouring of self-pity.
Australia is a nation unable to laugh at itself. And now they are an international laughing stock.
DAY OF CONTRITION
Warner says sorry: It's a stain on the game
Bancroft apologises: I'll regret this for the rest of my life
Smith breaks down as he speaks of hurt he's caused his family
Lehmann announces he is to quit after fourth Test
Posted by GiGi on 13/06/2018 at 23:28
Australia laughed at itself for a long time. Remember the laconic, laid back Aussie? They still existed not so long ago. Then Australia became ever more influenced by the US. The culture change started in earnest in the 90s with John Howard, who decided that "nice guys come last" and at that point Australia joined the US is being a somewhat recalcitrant, rather than cooperative, international citizen. Along with that came an increase in US TV and their typically self important hysterics, which Aussies now see as normal rather than laughable. I knew Australia had truly changed with the hysteria over Bill Henson's photo gallery, when wowsers in the media led a strange frenzy about a few edgy suburban art works - and of course the collective neurosis attack died down when the media found a new shiny toy to play with. It's the same with this issue. The overreaction by CA has probably killed Australian cricket off for good, at least as a no. 1 nation. The Board only needed to fine the players and ban them for a couple of matches as apparently other countries have done. Instead, CA gutted the team, both practically and emotionally in a bizarrely self destructive act of hari kuri. It's almost as if we believe ourselves to be morally superior and thus must mete out a more severe punishment for the same crime. Moral posturing. I don't much care about cricket but if my taxes are going into stadiums and "centres of excellence" then I don't want idiot CEOs folding during media witch hunts and wantonly throwing taxpayers' investments away with reckless snap decisions. The overreaction was more destructive than a few players trying to cheat - and from all reports, they cheated ineffectively, both in execution and covertness. Not what you'd expect from experienced cheats - more a few idiot young lads who had lost perspective. These players are basically overpaid big boys, just a few years out of their teens. I expect them to be idiots - this is the real world where young men often do stupid things, yes? Do we think that big salaries and hard work replace decades of life experience? I expect young men to do stupid things - and for the old men looking after them to provide proper guidance and PROPORTIONATE controls. James Sutherland threw away MILLIONS in taxpayer monies so as to make himself appear "moral" and thus avoid the pitchforks. I suggest that we strip away all taxpayer funding for cricket in the Institute of Sport and the like. Why should we non cricket people pay for it, especially with poorly guided and controlled young blokes and a CEO willing to save himself trouble by sacrificing millions of dollars funded by taxpayers? Let Aussie cricket be fully funded by private enterprise, and then maybe we can treat it as a sport
Posted by Philip Walker on 09/04/2018 at 21:36
Pretty strong stuff from Simon Hughes, but pretty much all of it a fair reflection of the steep descent the Australian cricket team have undergone since the days of Mark Taylor and Steve Waugh, and those teams had some mouth on them, Shane and Glenn (etc). This group have lacked a strong captain with a vision that includes the wider game as a whole and a vice who comes across as little more than a thug. No surprise that they are getting precious little sympathy: but do they understand why?
Posted by Alan Hill on 03/04/2018 at 11:47
I didn't quite finish my response ......When the furore dies down I would hope that the lawmakers and judges of the indiscretions committed by Smith, Warner and Bancroft take a more lenient view. My solution would be to put the offenders on probation and tell them that any repeat of their actions would mean a strengthening of the bans. They would have to look for occupations other than cricket. A final thought occurs: what would W.G. Grace, the arch manipulator, think about the peccadilloes of the moderns!
Posted by Au Contraire on 02/04/2018 at 12:32
This act was tantamount to match fixing with potential financial rewards for all concerned. It is sad to see so much defence of the Aussie culprits by the media and the former players, belly-aching about the punitive measures by Cricket Australia, which should be lauded! If the Pakistani players could be sent to jail for match fixing I don't see how this is an over reaction? Unless there is one set of rules for non-white cricketers! I thought we were past that hegemony!
Posted by Cape Town on 02/04/2018 at 09:04
As a South African, I have no sympathy for Australian cricketers. Not so much for their utterly bad behaviour, but for their arrogance and "being always right", always blaming the other side. Only half of the altercation between Warner and De Kock on their dressing rooms at Newlands is known. All reports on the matter start off what De Kock had said to Warner referring to Candice. The full story is, what Warner was saying, ad nauseum, to De Kock while the latter was batting, was referring to De Kock's surname. You need not be a brain surgeon to join the dots between "Cock" and De Kok!! To watch them acting as pre-school kids because someone took their candy doesn't hit the target for me. Give me England, New Zealand, India (yes, including Kholi), WI and the rest. I'll have a beer with each of them anytime, but nope, not with Warner et al!
Posted by derek stocker on 31/03/2018 at 15:39
Mr Hughes this is the most sensible article I have read concerning as you put it, 'Hurricane Tamper' or, as I was calling it; Sandpapergate! I don't recall seeing that term elsewhere and I have read upwards of twenty articles and close on 200 opinions on social media. I also am extremely allergic to bullshit, especially if I step into a freshly deposited pat, so sycophancy brings me out in a rash, like gravel rash or a grass burn or any other material that is abrasive to my leathery, sun damaged, skin. I think you have nailed the psyche of the majority of Australian sportsmen. I cannot speak about womenfolk as I have never had dealings with OZ sportswomen! And, from my experiences in OZ and news items I read the country has overtaken GB & NI in nanny state control and the over ripened fig of PC-ism! The dynamic between the view of the Godhead of sporting 'heroes' erected onto a pedestal and Joe Public has never been so distant. Cricketers used to be Joe Public, they could have a beer without someone wanting to pick a fight, insult or assault them. Money, that ROOT (sorry Joe) of all evil has turned their heads. The way they are fawned over, five star accommodation, 5* transport, Fitness, Medical, Psychological, Nutritionist, Physio's. Is it any wonder they look at 'fellow celebrities' in Music, Movies, Parliament etc. and think I am one of them. I can do no wrong. I am one of the elite, I am, in the case of Steve Smith if we include his property portfolio, a multi millionaire! In short the guys we admire and enjoy watching play the sport we love now exist in some sort of bubble. It is bad for them and their families, it is bad for fans and supporters, it is hellishly bad for the future of cricket...it must be good for something? Oh yeah, the movers and shakers, the gambling Guru's, the Sponsors, the Shareholders of TV corporations and the sad, sad dreamland existence of the Marketing & Advertising industries.
Posted by Gillian Bassom on 30/03/2018 at 22:40
As a Brit living in Oz, this is absolutely spot on.
Posted by Robert James on 30/03/2018 at 13:13
James Drayton makes a good point. Simon, stick to the day job - technical and tactical analysis (which you are good at). Leave the psychoanalysis to others better qualified.
Posted by James Drayton on 30/03/2018 at 11:17
I think that Simon Hughes gives very good insight into the technicalities of cricket and there is a lot of his own pent-up resentment of Australian cricketers and their personal and collective behaviour on the cricket field of the recent (and not so recent) times. Of course it is one thing to be a tough competitor and respected and quite another to act in a boorish way that does not garner the respect of the opposition. The Smith captaincy years certainly have been characterised by the latter and very little of the former. Why? I think there is a lot of truth in what Simon says about the way professional sportspeople are sheltered and developed in their personal and collective bubbles. Perhaps CA and others should include personal development and mindfulness programmes in their development programmes for their cricketers. BUT, there is always a but, I think Simon has gone well over the top in drawing his conclusions about Australian society in general. An "upstart", "international laughing stock", "vast outpouring of self-pity". Don't see that these sweeping pejoratives are connected to the sober personal analysis of the failings of the Australian professional cricketers and their internal team culture. I think Simon Hughes needs to confine his work to the areas he is best qualified and leave the hyperbole and his prejudices regarding the Australians in general in the waste paper basket.
Posted by Robert James on 30/03/2018 at 07:52
An interesting article with some good points made, but the conclusion as articulated in the last two paragraphs goes too far and does not follow automatically from the argument. "A nation still grappling with its place in the world" seems a very patronising description and one, more tellingly, that could apply more relevantly to England in aftermath of Brexit and devolution. Can the well-chronicled misdemeanours of England Test players be ascribed to this? I doubt it. I think your analysis, interesting though it is, is flawed. It would be interesting to hear Mike Brearley's view of your conclusion.
Posted by Bob sullivan on 29/03/2018 at 21:45
Can't beleive I am bothering to respond to this rubbish. Aussies have a great history of not taking themselves seriously, you obviously get paid per word hence the volume of nonsense in this article. You have no idea and I appreciate you putting your name to this for I will ignore everything you produce in the future.
Posted by Langers on 29/03/2018 at 21:40
Totally agree with Simon.I have to say there is a lot of repair work to be done as they are the most hated side in the world of cricket but I want them to do it.I want to look forward to a proper competitive game with them without the nastyness thanks.I blame the management for fostering this win at all costs and am very pleased we will not see Lehmann here again.I had earmarked Warner as a thug when he punched Joe Root when last here and feel he has a lot to answer for and would be delighted never to see him again in the baggy green.
Posted by Neil Thomas on 29/03/2018 at 21:08
Frankly this patronising article could only have been written by an Englishman. The behaviour of the England cricket team has been appalling for years, with the constant snearing of Anderson among others. Similarly with the England Cricket Establishment, with Stokes being allowed back into the team months after brutally attacking a young man with his hands raised in supplication. And the remark about Australia being a young nation ‘grappling with its place in the world’ and ‘unable to laugh at itself’, beggars belief. Britain indeed takes itself very seriously, and its role has been clear for a very long time, with its history of barbaric colonialism almost unparalleled among nations. Perhaps it’s time for the English to remove the rather large planks from their own eyes first.
Posted by Romain Pitt on 29/03/2018 at 20:30
It is not right to indict a whole nation in this manner. The writer might have overreacted as much as the Australian administrators.What is more the article is not constructive. There is obviously a huge temptation to tamper with the older ball as illustrated by the behaviour of players from several countries. One way to reduce the temptation and at the same time increase fan excitement is to shorten from 80 to say 60 the mandatory number of overs before there is a right to take a new ball.
Posted by Richard on 29/03/2018 at 20:29
A good article.
Posted by George Dargie on 29/03/2018 at 20:23
Total over reaction by the Australian cricket authorities If they had done their job correctly the “player power” that eventually ruled would not have gained control Also, w@y back when the first ball tampering episode occurred a heavy fine should have been handed out then that would have set a mark for any further Instances happening A factor that has gone unnoticed is that the match was played with the worst cricket ball ever seen in Test cricket At the end of the day there was little point in trying to do anything too it , as it was performing weirdly from day one Look how often the umpires were consulted about it Finally, umpires now carry all sorts of equipment including small scissors which are used to cut tails from allegedly damaged balls Is that not ball tampering? When the circular gauge is used to determine the size of a ball the umpire just alters the gauge to prove the ball is to the required standard Is that not cheating? Get a grip cricket administrators and grow up Australia you could have dealt with this situation n a far more honourable way by stripping Smith of the Captaincy for good fining all three and giving them realistic bans Mind you Inhave to agree with Michael Vaughan that I could not care what they did with the bully boy Warner
Posted by John B on 29/03/2018 at 20:21
A superb article - spot on! Is the Australian prime minister the only Australian who doesn't know that ball-tampering is commonplace? Why else are the umpires required to "make frequent and irregular inspections of the ball"? And does anyone believe Smith when he clams that this was the first and only time that Australia have unfairly altered the condition of the ball? And, at the age of 76, I was at the Perth test five years ago where, after queueing for quite a while, I was told to take my umbrella to the other side of the ground where I could collect it at the end of the day. I decided to tuck the umbrella in my trousers and was then allowed to enter. Perhaps that's where Bancroft got his idea from! Speaking of "garbage" as Alan S does, can he not read the author's name at the top of the article?
Posted by Michael Norris on 29/03/2018 at 19:29
Good summary: I've lived and worked in Australia and very nearly all that you've said has been said by all of them. I don't doubt that Lehmann is an honest and hard working guy but he was THE coach and was either asleep at the wheel or tuned a blind eye, neither is acceptable for an international coach - the incitement of the crowd at Brisbane to abuse Stuart Broad is a real stain on his reputation: he rightfully has done the decent thing. This event was the inevitable conclusion for years of truly appalling behaviour by Australia cricket teams. It must be said that media, administrators, umpires and match officials have all been accepting of appalling stuff on and off the field. England aren't angels and have done more than their share of sledging and boorish stuff - Anderson sets a very poor example. Vaughan and Atherton in the past have been accepting of sledging and should take a look at themselves. Finally, a one year suspension for Smith and Bancroft is too long, 6months would get the message across - in Warner's case the jury is literally out, he appears to be the villain of the piece and might be the fall guy.
Posted by Alan Simon on 29/03/2018 at 16:12
which gutless ***** wrote this pile of vitriolic garbage? for a start, attach your name to it then take a deep breath and look at what you wrote hateful stuff - anyone would think the Aussies invented cheating or ball-tampering several cricketing cou ....
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