NICK HOWSON picks out the stand-out items available from across the circuit
If English cricket really is in the doldrums, then a look at the cricketing gifts available for loved ones this year tells a different story.
If not bathed in quality, the 18 first-class counties and the MCC at the very least deserve credit for innovation.
Their club shops might look more like Del Boy's garage than Harrods, but consistent with the rest of the game they know an opportunity to make a profit when they see one.
The Cricketer has picked out the outstanding items from across the game this festive period. The only thing left to do is to decide is if a snowglobe with mud in is worth the trouble.
Hampshire - Southern Brave stress ball
Hampshire's club store used to be good for the weekly shop, let alone a last-minute gift. Things have been scaled back somewhat but they're keen to push all their brands. No county showcases the teams they host better than the Ageas Bowl's merchandise arm.
Ambitiously, there is a dedicated Southern Brave section, perhaps the most extensive on the county circuit. Quite why you'd go to the Hants site for Hundred merch is uncertain, but let's park that for the sake of Christmas.
Indeed, perhaps there is something in this item even for the county fan. Essential for anyone working from home, the Brave stress ball provides an outlet for your frustration with anything from unnecessary Zoom meetings, to 100-ball competitions.
A toy that takes inspiration from the Kent logo, because why in earth not? Invicta is a Latin word for undefeated (they lost 12 times last season) and is the motto for the county. In 2017, Kent unveiled a female companion, Victoria, but they are yet to provide a soft toy option.
Incidentally, both mascots Victa and Victoria were entered in the annual Mascot Race held on T20 Blast Finals Day as Kent attempted to put 14 years of hurt behind them. Neither were a match for eventual winner Freddie the Falcon. They are winless in the race since 2007 when Bomber the Spitfire claimed victory.
(Hampshire Cricket)
Lancashire - England v India fifth Test programme
This is a hard sell. The programme of a Test that was cancelled due to a T20 competition being more important. Who wouldn't want a reminder? And you won't be even able to pass it off as brand new next year, with the rearranged Test moved to Edgbaston.
If anyone at the ECB has any kind of sense of humour this should be Tom Harrison's Secret Santa present. Though this probably wasn't even the worst schedule change of the year.
Perhaps this is the kind of item that over the years grows in value and appears on auction websites for hundreds. Like Steve Bruce's novels.
It is made more difficult to shift for locals by the front cover, which showcases Bolton's Haseeb Hameed, released by Lancashire in 2019, moved to Nottinghamshire and now opens the batting for England. Awkward.
Nottinghamshire - Trent Bridge oven gloves
If you took my 'advice' last year and parted with your hard-earned cash to buy the Trent Bridge apron, then the accompanying oven gloves feel like a no-brainer.
There is no downplaying the absurdness of the apron. It's a barbaric piece of kitchen attire. So to not have the gloves is a weird kind of moral high ground.
Drawing a line at them while indulging in the apron makes less sense than Peter Moores' data points. The gloves are tasteful, with the branding easier to conceal. There is no better way in which to handle the hot potato that is county cricket.
(Surrey CCC)
Apart from Jacob Rees-Mogg, who actually still drinks tea or coffee with a cup and saucer? Alastair Cook's BT Sport tea room might be the exception. It isn't a hot drink unless you can taste the cardboard.
Surrey rarely struggle to shift items to their fanbase, but dropping the price to £55 at the time of writing feels like a desperate move reflective of the product. This is among their 175th anniversary range - I highlighted the limited edition scarf in 2020 - so you get a well-made vessel and learn a little something.
A huge bite has been taken out of Sussex CCC in recent years. They'll start the season with rival counties nipping at their feet. Steven Finn is a shrewd signing. He'll be key to ensuring they grab victory from the jaws of defeat. Err, Sussex will be aiming to hammer the opposition.
It is uncertain whether the flow of talent out of Hove is mirroring the uptake of novelty toys. Costing £15, 'Sid' can be purchased in two colours and sizes, with a third of the cost going towards the 'Together Through This Test' campaign, which is supporting local communities during the Covid-19 pandemic. You can even donate the Sid completely, without the fear of it starring back at you in the night.
(MCC)
For those of you feeling very generous, how about giving the gift of inscription this Christmas? Premium stones can be personalised and added to the Bear and Ragged Staff Wall for the cost of £1,000. Proceeds support the work of the Edgbaston Foundation in the community but are only installed once a certain number have been purchased. So you might be waiting a while. Saves on wrapping paper.
You can always rely on the Lord's shop to deliver on unwanted gifts. This is essentially mud in a snowglobe, dug up from Lord's in 2002. They've drawn a seam on the side which is a nice touch but don't be fooled into thinking this is a luxury item. It stops paper from blowing onto the floor.
And then there is a delivery warning, if you're looking to send this overseas: "PLEASE NOTE: as turf is encapsulated in these paperweights, they are classed as prohibited imports by the Customs Services in Australia, New Zealand and South Africa and, as a result, will be confiscated upon arrival."
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