READER BLOG: THE ASHES BACKPACKER

An England fan's account of the Ashes Down Under

The time was 11.50am on Saturday 25^th, Day 3, (1.50am in the UK). Whilst most England fans were sleeping, those who were watching must have also felt they were dreaming. Australia were seven down reply to England’s 302, putting England in a strong position that few thought was possible prior to the match.

Ah yes. It was also at 11.50am on Day 3 that a university friend and I took the fateful decision to beat the lunch rush at the Brisbane German Beer Club. What a fantastic place by the way. My path followed a similar trajectory to the England side – as Woakes and Ball leaked runs after lunch – we found a group of Aussies to share some drinks with (one of whom was Mitchell Johnson’s second cousin, with a marvellous tache) and things probably went downhill.

Britons in Australia drinking German beer; you might be able to vote Britain out of Europe but you can’t take the European out of Britons. Indeed, I got back into the ground to see Australia’s innings finally close and, more importantly, merrily led some Barmy Army chants. The life of the travelling England supporter! I’d even made it onto TV the day before.

Fast forward to Sunday at about 3.30pm Queensland time and England fans waking up must have thought they were having a nightmare - the one that recurs over a six-week period every four or so years. Well they were. False hopes raised through brave batting led by Vince and excellent bowling by the old-timers were dashed amid another batting collapse.

England competed valiantly for three days but have nothing to show for it. They mustn’t be disheartened though; many questions were asked of England before this match and many have been answered. Issues with England’s batting order, specifically at 2, 3 and 5 have been answered for now – Stoneman looks the best opening bat at No.2 since Strauss, Vince played excellently in the first innings and Malan looked good, although he needs to figure out a method of playing Lyon.

All in all, there are four reasons why England lost this Test match – rather than Australia winning it. Firstly, England wasted key positions such as 240 for four in their first innings and having Australia 200 for seven. They must be more clinical.

Secondly, Steve Smith batted better than Joe Root. This is harsh on England’s skipper but ultimately Smith played the matchwinning innings – one of outstanding proportions that highlights why he is currently better than Joe. Simply because he turns fifties into hundreds and daddy-hundreds.

Thirdly, England’s bowling following the excellent Anderson and Broad was suspect, allowing Smith off the hook and putting little pressure on Warner and Bancroft in the run-chase. Contrast that with the consistent threat posed by Australia’s quicks and Nathan Lyon. Finally, England’s tail was twice blown away rapidly – meaning well-earned positions could not be capitalised on and swung momentum quickly back towards Australia.

Having just visited Steve Irwin’s Australia Zoo, it’s fair to say that if England could show similar bravery to the short ball as Irwin did in the face of dangerous animals then this Ashes series will be closer than the last.

Brisbane itself has been a more luxurious experience than I’ve become used to on this trip. A friend of my Dad has put me up for the last week, meaning I’ve had my own room and shower for the first time in 10 weeks! Luxury, indeed, and a big thank you to Matt and Judy.

The Barmy Army Headquarters in Brisbane, The Pig ‘N' Whistle, offered a hub to digest each days play. On the eve of the Test I managed to catch Alan Brazil (it is unlike me to catch anything as any Sandbach Cricket Club player would attest), presenting his Talksport morning show from the pub to the UK, for a quick chat.

He offered some thoughts on the England team, suggesting that Alastair Cook is a “top bloke” (this seems more likely when he doesn’t hook straight to fine leg) and also how Australian crowds are that much more raucous than the English.

All around Brisbane, on lampposts and pillars, #BeatEngland was everywhere. I now understand the hostility of an away Ashes series and the infamous Gabbatoir atmosphere. For a couple of hours on Day 2 I witnessed poor Jake Ball fielding at fine leg on the boundary, being the victim of a barrage of expletives delivered by a group of drunk Aussies. To be expected in Australia, I suppose.

I also caught Billy the Barmy Army Trumpeter for a quick chat. He talked through a couple of new songs that “Reverend Cheat” Steve Smith was going to “help” the Barmies with through his poor performances. Unfortunately that wasn’t much use in this match.

I bumped into a certain Andy Flower on Day 1 too. Having read KP's autobiography/ fiction, I was not surprised to find Flower a nice, shy bloke who would stop by for a picture. A repeat of the 5-0 drubbing suffered by Flower’s 2013/14 Ashes side, however, unfortunately already possible.

Nevertheless, Brazil and Billy both predicted England would win 3-2 and that remains possible. Failure to win in Adelaide and England will lose the series. Conditions will favour England though and, as I write, Ben Stokes has just been seen at Heathrow en route to New Zealand. Hope is not lost yet. As for me, Adelaide means it’s back to hostels, bunk beds and little sleep.