Loving New Zealand Tests sign of a true cricket badger

HUW TURBERVILL: We have a saying in the small Suffolk village from where I stem, which has been passed down through the generations: "Those who don't appreciate a Test match in New Zealand don't really love cricket"

Are you a true cricket badger?

I know there are lots of people who really like cricket. They might play. They watch a bit of the Lanka Premier League. They might even have had a copy of Test Match Special: Yet More Banter from the Box in their Christmas stocking.

But I mean going to that next level?

Sitting for hours watching South Africa v Sri Lanka on Sky, for instance?

A South Africa attack struggling to make inroads into Sri Lanka. With Kagiso Rabada absent, no one in sight remotely in the class of Allan Donald, Shaun Pollock, Dale Steyn, Morne Morkel or Makhaya Ntini; or even Fanie de Villiers, Jacques Kallis and Brian McMillan for that matter (although fair play to Lutho Sipamla for fighting back to take 4 for 76 after his figures had read 5-0-40-0).

Then watching South Africa pile up 621 off an attack that has no one good enough to lace up the boots of Muttiah Muralitharan or Chaminda Vaas; Faf du Plessis using his bat like an axe to carve out 199.

Then there’s the New Zealand Tests. Hammering West Indies, dominating Pakistan. The home seamers working the channels, the uber-aggressive Neil Wagner banging it in (although rumours that he broke his toe with one of his own bouncers proved unfounded). The run-rate of the Pakistan first innings in the first Test at Mount Maunganui was soporific. They cannot even find a British broadcaster to show it (albeit it’s in the middle of the night).

Damn it, I’d show it. I love it. I’ve always loved them.

We have a saying in the small Suffolk village from where I stem, which has been passed down through the generations: “Those who don’t appreciate a Test match in New Zealand don’t really love cricket.”

^{New Zealand clinched a thrilling victory in the dying embers of their Test against Pakistan}

Derek Stirling, Martin Snedden and Ewen Chatfield letting the greentops do the work. Or Bruce Edgar or Trevor Franklin painstakingly laying the foundations in so-solid fashion.

The streaming platform that have won the rights to New Zealand cricket, Spark, very graciously put the highlights on YouTube. They are so skimpy, though. Azhar Ali was not given out for caught behind at 51 for 3 to the dismay of the Kiwis in the first innings, then next the action cuts to 52 for 4. We don’t see the review. Or the umpire perform his about-turn. Bizarre.

The main event this winter/Christmas has been Australia v India, of course. Full praise to the Indians for their brilliant fightback at the MCG, with their talisman Virat Kohli on paternity leave.

Maybe it’s a nostalgia thing but the Fox commentary team doesn’t match up to the Channel 9 one of the 1980s for me. Shane Warne is Shane Warne of course. He’s earned the right to do his own thing. He’s entertaining, as is Kerry O’Keeffe.

There’s Gilly, and it’s great to hear AB. He hasn’t lost any of his feistiness. He dished out a right good talking-to to Australia A for their performance against the Indians at the SCG before this Test, even though they batted courageously for a draw in the second innings.

Mark Howard – Howie – is a bit hysterical, however. Take this moment at the start of the first Test at Adelaide, with Cheteshwar Pujara facing Mitchell Starc.

“Eeeeddddddggeeeeeee!! What a moment that it is, what a first over!”
Warne: “Pretty sure that carried!”
[It hadn’t.]
It seems to lack an authority figure.

^{Shubman Gill and Ajinkya Rahane crown a fine Test win}

Obviously Richie Benaud is pretty much irreplaceable, but where’s Chappelli? Contracted to Channel 9, that’s where, so confined to radio. They lost the rights, and their terrestrial replacements Channel 7 have been at loggerheads with Cricket Australia ever since.

Sometimes it’s better to stick with what you know…

Chappell has annoyed Steve Smith recently: “It seems like Ian Chappell has an outlandish statement after every match at the moment.”

But I think he’s great. All that knowledge. He assumed the Australia captaincy against England a half-century ago this winter. While he has not always been kind about us Poms, his voice is much missed over here.

Gift a subscription to The Cricketer this Christmas and choose your free gift (a £20 John Lewis gift card or copy of Bob Willis: A Cricketer & A Gentleman). Subscribe here