Was Cricket Australia's bizarre approach to vice-captaincy inspired by W1A?

JAMIE CRAWLEY: You may have seen W1A, the quite genius parody of the right-on world that the BBC has created for itself. Cricket Australia, it seems, are only one staff meeting away from appointing a “Head of Values” and “Director of Better”

^{Cricket Australia's press release announcing Mitch Marsh, right, and Josh Hazlewood as vice-captains could have been written in the W1A (top) script}

In a first for Test cricket, Josh Hazlewood and Mitchell Marsh have been named as co-vice-captains of the Australian Test team ahead of their series against Pakistan.

Cricket Australia’s grovelling PR campaign to restore goodwill has officially gone nuclear.

After the ball-tampering scandal earlier this year and the ensuing bans levied to Steve Smith and David Warner, the governing body has been falling over itself to show that it has changed its stripes.

“Following consultation with the playing group, Hazlewood and Marsh were among a select group of players who made individual presentations to an interview panel,” we are told.

The word “group” is used no fewer than eight times in Cricket Australia’s press release.

National selector, Trevor Hohns said: "I’d like to congratulate Josh and Mitch on their appointment to the positions of joint vice-captains of the Australian Test team. Justin Langer and Tim Paine have a clear vision for the Test team, and Josh and Mitch are invested ready to support to coach and captain on this journey.”

Reading the statement and the snippets from the players is an absolute joy. 

^{Hazlewood has no plans to take on the captaincy}

“It was not a process designed to find the next Australian Test captain, but to find two vice-captains who will support and help drive the team’s goals and objectives.”

Trevor Hohns again. Sorry ,Trev – were you looking for two vice-captains from the outset then?

“Mitchell Marsh, Assistant Vice Captain.” Assistant to the Vice-Captain?

Hohns continues: “We also feel the new model provides great balance. There is strong and even representation of both the batting and bowling groups.”

Hazlewood does not covet Australia captaincy

Presumably they wanted vice-captains for the many not the few.

Moving on to Marsh's credentials, things take on a surreal twist.

“He is an extremely popular member of the team, he has great humility, and given his lineage, he understands and respects the responsibility which comes with representing Australia and Australians” – wait, what? Lineage?

Marsh himself stated: “I want to be the best person, best cricketer and leader I can be for this group and for the whole organisation.” Thanks, Mitch. “I suppose I’ve created an atmosphere here where I’m a person first and a cricketer second. Probably a leader thi...”

All right, sorry I’ll stop.

Marsh's lineage is important, apparently

But seriously, please tell me that somebody out there is writing a sitcom about Australian cricket.

You may have seen W1A, the quite genius parody of the right-on world that the BBC has created for itself. Cricket Australia, it seems, are only one Way Ahead Meeting from appointing a  “Head of Values” and “Director of Better”.

I for one cannot wait to see this storyline develop and the reasons for Cricket Australia’s selection to come out in full.

Were they tied in the ballot, with the deciding vote going to Tim Paine, who didn’t want to risk upsetting either of them?

Are they such bezzies that neither of them wanted the job unless the other one got it as well?

Is it a transitional phase to abolition of the post of captain altogether, paving the way to an egalitarian world of multiple co-captains? – Captain of the Batting Group, Captain of the Bowling Group, Captain of the Wicket-Keeping Group (Paine would of course fill the final role by default).

Answers on a postcard, what do you think? Right now, nothing would surprise me.