THE GOOGLY: COLD TURKEY! BOXING DAY TESTS OF ENDURANCE

"WHY DO CRICKETERS GO OFF WHEN IT RAINS?"

A Scottish friend uninitiated in the ways of our great game once asked me a question that, on the surface, should have been eased through the covers for four, but actually left me slightly floundering.

Why do cricketers go off when it rains?

I laughed. Of course they need to go off. It would be dangerous to carry on…

Why?

Well, their studs are so sharp – they would cut flesh! And I have seen cricketers slip and incur serious injury – cruciate knee problems, snapped Achilles, that sort of thing.

But footballers and rugby players incur the same risk, and they play in the rain…

Well, there are the pitches. They need so much nurturing… delicate preparation.

He was not convinced, and reading the following story will add even more grist to his mill.

For every Boxing Day up and down the land, cricketers forego the turkey korma, swap the comfort of the sofa and the chance to watch the Test highlights from down under, to play cricket.

Chilblains and frozen fingers are often the order of the day in this marvellous example of British eccentricity – the polar opposite of the Boxing Day Test down under in 100 degrees.

Woollen hats and snoods have become essential kit. Groundsmen pull their hair out and watch through the gaps in their fingers (unless clubs have an artificial wicket, and even then...“Be careful of the square!”).

So why do they bother? 

Well… cricket has the Ashes, the World Cup and the Sheffield Shield among its array of glittering prizes, but what about… the Loo Seat?

OK, it would not leave you flush if you sold it, but the cricketers of Bedfordshire clubs Ampthill Town and Flitwick certainly believe it is a trophy worth playing for.

Ampthill and Flitwick have been playing this derby for the last 19 years, although the date can vary over the Christmas and New Year period.

The match was Ian Smith’s brainchild, when Ampthill acquired an artificial pitch on the Alameda Middle School field (thanks to Pools money). The idea for the trophy came from Ampthill president Richard Dillingham MBE, who presented the ‘Christmas Commode Trophy’, although from that day it has been known only as the Loo Seat.

The game is usually 10 or 12 overs a side, with everyone bowling an over. Over the years the game has been played in snowstorms, heavy rain and dense fog.

It can be dangerous. Ampthill’s Andy Potter broke a finger spilling a boundary catch as it came out of a foggy sky. His team-mate Gordon Farley pulled a ball into his eye and looked like Cyclops when he finally reached the pub. Neither have played in the fixture since.

The other thing that usually stops players turning out the following year is if they overdo the social side of the game. One Ampthill cricketer has not featured since being tackled by a bush halfway down Oliver Street on his way home.

Even the loo seat has suffered injury when Flitwick’s Carl Ferguson dropped it after it was presented to him.

There are other games like this – too many to mention them all. Tottington St Johns and Brooksbottom (fortunately not for a loo seat in the latter’s case) were good enough to reply to my tweet on this; they will meet at Crompton Meadows again this Boxing Day – they play 30 overs per side! Lancashire side Brooksbottom have been participating in this festive fixture since the 1960s (competing for the Brian Statham Trophy, the great England seamer initially sponsoring it) but TSJ replaced Bolton Road CC (now Elton Vale) in 2006.

The match did not take place last year because of the severe flooding in the area, so players are especially fired up this year (anything to avoid the Boxing Day sales).

The social side of cricket is not what it was, so stories like the Loo Seat challenge should not be brushed aside. Long may Boxing Day cricket in the snow, wind and rain continue.