CORRIDOR CUP: THE RULES

1 - Batting
(a) No attacking shots
Forget the slog sweep, the in-to-out over extra, the reverse ramp and the bludgeon down the ground. Corridor cricket is about survival. And that means only defensive shots are allowed. This is adjudicated by fair consensus in the room - no arguing, we're in lockdown and there's no need to fall out.

(b) 1 run per ball survived
It's pretty simple. If you get through a delivery not out, you get a run. You can never get more than 1 run from any given delivery, which is why there's no bloomin' need to hammer a hook through the kitchen window!
(c) First-ball grace
Eldest siblings, do you remember how annoying it was that your younger brother(s) and/or sister(s) always seemed to get a second chance if they fluffed their lines first up? Yep? Well, get ready to be annoyed some more. If you're out first ball, you get another go. We're nice like that.

(d) Three misses and you’re out
Now then, listen up because this one's important. If you miss the ball once, you're fine. Twice, you're pushing it. Three times, and you're OUTTA HERE!!!! Yes, we've gone all baseball on you. These misses do not have to be consecutively. As per 1(b), a first or second miss still counts as a run, obvs. It's just common sense.

(e) Three body hits and you’re out 
A body hit is different to a play and miss. So if you've been hit in the body twice without having touched the ball with the bat, and played and missed at two deliveries, you can still be not out. These body hits do not have to be consecutive. Just hit the thing!

(f) No lbws
Let's be done with the tedium of leg-before arguments. Besides, if you pad up three times you're  out anyway.

(g) No bowled
Given a set of stumps can't be hammered into the living room carpet without incurring the wrath of mum/dad/landlord/responsible adult, we're going to abandon the concept of being timbered altogether. It's a batsman's game.

(h) Hit window/ceiling/household pet/mother’s favourite vase and you’re out
Keep it gentle. Keep it safe. And remember, your home insurance won't pay out against acts of self-vandalism. Clever fielders might introduce valuable items/animals to the outfield to cause batsmen extra difficulty!

2 - Bowling
(a) No run-ups
In corridor cricket, everything happens from a standing start, so no lolloping 15 yards from the bathroom. It'll be a no ball. 

(b) No fast bowling
Don't wang it down. You can't be bowled, and chucking the ball at 100mph just to get three plays and misses is considered unsportsmanlike conduct and should result in a two-month corridor cricket ban and a week's laundry duty as punishment. 

(c) No cabbaging 
No, dirty minds, it's nothing like that. Cabbaging is the practice of delaying the delivery to encourage a false shot. Like taking a pause during a penalty run-up. Don't do it. It's shitehouse behaviour. Anyone engaged in cabbaging should only be allowed brassica for dinner for a fortnight.

(d) No 15-degree rule on straightness of arm
Designed to encourage creativity among spin connaisseurs, we're allowed all sorts of deliveries. Just as long as you don't wang it down!

3 - Fielding
(a) One hand, one bounce 
It does what it says on the tin. This includes one bounce off the walls, or one bounce off the body.

(b) Optional extra fielders permitted
The bowler and fielders may employ spare bins, cat litter trays, guitar cases and the like as extra fielders around the bat. One hand, one bounce rules do NOT apply in the event the ball ends up in one of these.

(c) Electric keeper
Our wicketkeeper has incredibly long arms but is lacking in agility. Think of a padded-up Mr Tickle. This means that any edge behind square is considered caught out. But no catches are taken by our keeper down the legside. The paddle sweep might prove to be a popular shot.

COMING MAY 2020

Edinburgh House, 170 Kennington Lane, London, SE115DP

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