Poirot and the case of the Hove Polaroids

HUW TURBERVILL, five photographs and an untraceable scorecard: Hercule Poirot investigates

"M Poirot, the legendary Hercule Poirot… it is so good of you to see me."

"It is my pleasure, mon ami. What can I do for you?"

"Well, I found some old photos at my parents’ house. I took them with a Polaroid. You know, one of those cameras that produce instant pictures. It was a Christmas gift. I recall it distinctly. There were 10 photos in a pack, and each pack was quite expensive, so I had to be careful not to waste them. They are of a cricket match, in the 1980s, involving Sussex at Hove. I was taken there by my grandfather, who lived in Haywards Heath."

"Ah, cricket, the English enigma. I know not of any other game where even the players are unsure of the rules… but do proceed, M Turbervill."

"Well, as you can see, there are five pictures. There is Garth Le Roux, the fearsome South African fast bowler – I distinctly recall him posing obligingly for my camera."

"I like his sweater. The six blue birds – are they martlets? – make for a pleasing design…"

"There is then one of his team-mate, and compatriot, Ian Greig in the field, walking towards me…

^{Hercule Poirot, as played Charles Laughton}

"The third is of a batsman with an unusual yellow helmet walking up into the pavilion, presumably after being dismissed… I think that’s Colin Wells…"

"Fascinating," says Poirot, twiddling his moustaches (one on either side) bemusedly…

"Then the fourth is of two batsmen going out to the middle. One of them is using a Newbery bat, the company based in Sussex.

"Finally the fifth is of the scoreboard at Hove. Next to it is one of the famous – or infamous – eggs. They were put there by sponsors Stonegate. If a player hit one with a six, he won £1,000. Paul Parker managed it, I believe…"

The shape of Poirot’s head is often likened to an egg, and he is keen to move the conversation on…

"Now I can’t be sure who is batting, but it says 155 for 2 after 39 overs. The batsmen are on 56 and 1, and the last man out scored 76, and fell with the score on 149…"

"Pardon moi, monsieur, but I am wondering where I fit into all this…"

"Well M Poirot, I am certain the match was against Middlesex. For I recall one of their players, a Phillipe-Henri Edmonds…"

"Ah, a Belgian peut-être?"

"Ah, cricket, the English enigma. I know not of any other game where even the players are unsure of the rules… but do proceed, M Turbervill"

"Err… not that I know of… anyhow, I recall him being rather less obliging to me when I asked him if I could take his picture. He refused to stop… Now I don’t hold this against him. Maybe he needed to rush to the pavilion for a comfort break. And much later he redeemed himself in my eyes when I rang him for an interview while I was working for The Sunday Telegraph. He happily gave me a half-hour of his time: chapter and verse on the bowling of Ashley Giles... But I digress… when I look up all the matches between Sussex and Middlesex at Hove involving Le Roux, Edmonds and Greig, with the score on 149 for 2 and a batsman on 76… nothing… I have drawn a complete blank… as have other helpful people who graciously joined the quest on Twitter…"

"That is indeed curious M Turbervill. I will need to think about this. Perhaps a chocolat chaud will help me."

"Of course, right away!"

"Thank you. Well I have been thinking about your problem, and I have decided to contact an acquaintance of mine, Mr Ian Smith. He works on an ingenious website called Cricket Archive."

I think it's Colin Wells in the yellow helmet; G Le Roux who was friendly unlike one Middx bowler who refused to stop to be snapped (not @theanalyst!!); Ian Greig; I'm having trouble pinning the match down - one of the teams was 155-2, & Le Roux, Greig and Edmonds were playing!! https://t.co/WO2wsmaDim

— Huw Turbervill (@huwzat) February 19, 2021

The next day Poirot returns, his green eyes glowing with satisfaction.

"I have an answer for you. It seems you were mistaken. Middlesex were not the visitors to Hove – Zimbabwe were…"

"Oh yes, I did indeed go to that match. I recall a certain young batsman by the name of Graeme Hick was playing for the tourists…"

"That is correct. The match was a 55-over affair, on July 13, and Hick was 19. He made 11. He was already on Worcestershire’s books, however, making an unbeaten 82 on his County Championship debut the summer before against Surrey at The Oval in the second innings (he didn’t bat in the first).

"There was no real science involved in our investigation, M Smith informs me. He says that he just chose all Sussex's home games during the period that Le Roux played for them (1978–87) and quickly flicked through each scorecard looking for 149 for 2 as a wicket in the first innings of a match. Once he excluded non-Hove matches (e.g Eastbourne etc) it left him with a manageable list. If the list of matches had been much longer, he would have looked to create a query in the database."

"That is amazing M Poirot, and Mr Smith – thank you!"

The great detective pulls out his pocket watch.

"It is the brain, the little grey cells on which one must rely. One must seek the truth within, not without…"

Well you have certainly solved that mystery. I just wonder now where the pictures I took for the match against Middlesex have gone.

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